The Last Week

This semester has been a really eye opening semester in class. I really enjoyed this class and the things that I learned in it. My classmates were great and the of course my instructor Brother Williams. I think I probably will continue this blog to speak about the things that are currently affecting the family. For whoever will read this one day I hope that you have learned, as well as I, how important the family really is. Love your family, work with them, pray with them, and enjoy them!  Thanks for the great class! Good luck on Finals! And Happy Holidays!


                                                           -Kelsey Morales

Divorce

This week was very cool, Brother Williams taught us through his experiences. And honestly I think those are the best lessons when someone tells you how to avoid doing something or to do something because they have lived. it. We discussed  divorce, how people are influenced by what they see. For example in 1945-1950's after the war there was a huge rise in divorce. Another date in time when there was a huge rise in divorce was in 1970, the era of the baby boomers and when the no fault divorce began. Both these times correlate because those that divorced in the 70's were the kids of the one who had divorced in the late 40's to 50's. It was just a really interesting thing to see. So I think this teaches me that divorce shouldn't be the first option you run to when things are rough. You should try all you can, as circumstances permit, to save a marriage. Because in return it might save your child's marriage in the future.

Grossly Sick

So I went home for Thanksgiving and it was so great to see all my extended family. It also was a really cool way for me to take what I learned from class and  apply it. I saw how the different families staying in my house were structured. Also I got to show off my knowledge to them. Everything was going fine, even though most of my family was sick including some of my little cousins that I babysat. Anyways I came back happy to be close to finishing the semester. And then on the car ride over here I started having a throat ache, well that turned into a huge flu. It was like the virus each of my family members had, decided to ditch its current host body and move into mine.

 Needless to say I missed almost two weeks of class. And the times I did go to class I was half conscious, so I don't really remember what we talked about. I looked back on my notes and I seriously don't even know what I was writing. But one thing stands out in my notes, it says this: "Your Heavenly Father is the only person that will love your children more then you will ever be capable of in this lifetime." This is such a beautiful thought and I completely agree. I think sometimes as parents we do make mistakes but we have remember that through God's help we be better. He is the one who gave us children and he is the one that loves them unconditionally and perfectly. So we should not be afraid to ask for help when parenting gets hard. That's what I'm planing on doing when I have kids. It's cool writing about parenting because really I'm no where close being one. It will be great to look back on these posts and see how these writing will influence my parenting. 

Learning about Power

So it's the week before the break and this week I learned about the different powers. Power is to manipulate, control another person or control a situation, it is to be dominant and influence someone. But there are different types of powers. There are Expert powers, where you are the expert and have more knowledge in something. There is Informational power, where you use facts and other information to influence. Another one is Reward power, it works just like it sounds, you give someone a reward if that person does what you want. The power were you try to persuade someone through a threat is Coercive power. And there are plenty more. I just chose the ones that I found interesting. It was just a really good lesson and it made me realize that use some of these to get my way. I really shouldn't do that especially the coercive one.

Family Crisis

This week in class was seriously one of the most inspiring. It was about how families deal with crises. The material was good but the thing that made memorable was the story that Brother Williams told about how his family dealt with death in their family. My heart hurt for his poor mother, I could not imagine the feeling of loosing a child. I tried to imagine coping without one of my siblings or my parents and I seriously don't know how it could be possible.

This week was something that I might need one day when I do loose a loved one. I learned that a lot of time we have the misconception that an event cause an emotion, and then we think about the emotion. So this way would defend the cause for any rash behavior when a crisis did hit. But in reality the event causes thoughts first which then lead to emotions. So we can decide on how we will feel about a certain event. We also can decide on how to act. When crisis hit their is a lot strain on the family and many draw away. But we should do the opposite, we should get closer as a family; we should be each others support system. 

The Week of Halloween

So I was going to title this post, "sex on the week of Halloween," because I usually write what week it is and what we learned in class. But then I re-read it and realized that the connotation of what I wanted to say was very different from what it sounded like. That would have been really awkward!
 But really this subject in general is looked at as an awkward subject; It's taboo to talk about. And in class I could see a few people looking down and avoiding eye contact, even though we all are adults in college. I'm not sure why this is. What I brought it down to is that sex is such a intimate and private thing that talking about publicly feels wrong.

But anyways in class I learned about the phases of sex which was excitement, plateau and orgasm.  And something super interesting that I didn't know that Brother William's said was that the most important sex organ is the brain. I had never thought of that but it makes so much sense because it really is so emotional and technically it does produce chemicals in your brain. Also we have to communicate our needs and restraint ourselves from being selfish.  But the point of the lesson was that sex is not just about the physical it is the thought that this act brings a couple together. It was a good lesson to know for the future.


P.s. Halloween wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be.Heck, this week in class was more exciting. But I have to take advantage of being in college for Halloween because the older I get the weirder it will be to dress up. Anyways me and my roomie through a little party and the next day we dressed up. I hope your Halloween was good too!

Talking about Marriage

 So it's the second to last week of October and Halloween is so close! I love that holiday so much that i'm trying not to get distracted. It's getting chilly, and with that I am seeing a lot more couple cuddled up. It's weird it feels like as soon as it gets colder people get more in a dating/engagement mode. Which is funny because this week in class we talked about marriage.

I guess I never really thought that there would be too many problems the first month of marriage, but really it's not like that. In class we discussed how the first month is pretty much a huge adjustment. You have to share a bed, bathroom and your body. Grocery shopping becomes an issue if you both eat differently, or the time that you both go to bed. Honestly some of these things were a surprise for me to hear. I guess everyone portrays marriage as being an easy thing. It really isn't, it's a serious commitment and change of life. I really wish that more people here knew this. I think a lot of people rush into marriage without realizing how it works. I'm glad I learned about these things so I don't make that mistake.

The week of October 15th

Okay so now to write about this week. Seriously this week in class has influenced me a lot. We talked about ... Relationships! Honestly I loved learning about this stuff in previous semesters, but now that I'm actually dating someone, it has been kind of scary. There are so many theories about love, relationships and how they work, it's sometimes overwhelming.  The book talked about different things that initially attract us to someone. Like physical attraction and similarities. And the funny thing is that I didn't get drawn in by some of those things when I got into a relationship. In fact me and my boyfriend were polar opposites. So I was worried that since there were not these things it meant that I wasn't as attached to him. Also in class we learned about Oxytocin, which was the hormone chemical that makes you feel attached to someone. Apparently only women have this hormone. So I was worried that I was not releasing this chemical with him and that's why I felt like I didn't know him. Now I know that I shouldn't have worried so much. But pretty much this lesson made me feel very pensive about whether my relationship was built on  a right foundation or not. Then the next class we talked about the Relationship Attachment Model which pretty much said that when you break the touch barrier  you get attachment even though you don't know the person.

So that's how I got my answer of why I was nervous about my relationship and felt like I didn't know him. We had broken the touch barrier on the first date and it just made the whole thing complicated.I'm sharing this with you because I don't want anyone else make that mistake. My suggestion would be to get to know the person you are dating before you decide to snuggle with them, hold hands, or kiss them.

Sociological theory of same gender attraction

Last week I forgot to post something. But I feel like it was a really good week and I have to comment before summarizing this  current week. Last week we discussed same gender attractions. This subject has always been a touchy subject for me. I've always been very loving towards people who struggle with that. I feel that there are many people from my faith that are not as understanding and it bugs me. So I was scared that the lessons in my class were going to be harsh. But the opposite happened. In actuality Brother Williams approached it sociologically. It all surprisingly made sense. He talked about how sometimes if a child is different we end up over analyzing the situation and socializing them to be more different. For example if a little boy like to play with dolls, his parents might freak out and make him play only sports and later they might treat him like he was gay. A forceful experience like this would make him change. Instead we should treat our child like nothing is wrong. If your son wants to play with dolls then make him play the boy and you play the girl doll. I just really enjoyed this discussion and I thought it was a really interesting theory to study. Of course I do believe there are exceptions to this theory but I do believe it can explain a lot.

The Last Week of September

I forgot to write in my blog the previous week, but I promise I will not miss a week again! So for the past three days we have been learning a lot about how a family functions. We've been talking about unspoken rules and boundaries. It's really made me analyze my family more closely. And let me tell you, my family has a lot of unspoken rules.

By unspoken I'm referring to rules that are not really established since the beginning; they are just things that you don't do. For example I don't call my parents by their first names. They never set that rule up, it's just something that isn't done in my house. So here's a list of unspoken rules that I have found in my family...

1) Don't bring an uninvited guest! (Mom always wanted to know who I was bringing home).

2) No swearing (not even in Spanish). 

3) On Sunday everyone needs to help set up or clean up after dinner. 

4) When Dad comes home you have to drop what your doing and go welcome him home. 

5) When you come home from hanging out, or what not, you have to share details with a family member. (This one I created, I just loved telling and hearing how things went)! 

Anyways it was really fun picking apart my family dynamics. I was impressed also when I mapped out my families boundaries. I think activities like this really bring a family closer together. We can see what needs to change or what is working. I advise anyone reading this to do these things. To see what unspoken rules are influencing your life. 

-Kelsey Morales

P.s. I just want to throw a shout out to my Dad, today is his Birthday! Happy B-day Daddy, I seriously don't know what I or our family would do without you! <3

FAML 160- The start of something new!

I was asked in my BYU-Idaho family class to start a blog. Where I could write my experiences and things that I'm learning.This is my first time blogging, I'm excited to start class and then share my view and what not. I wish I had known sooner that writing in a  blog was better then in a Journal!

Kelsey M.